Here Are My Opinions on 10 Things:
It's actually bad.
Sometimes I think about her and Beyonce kissing.
The Conversation the Men Behind me at this cafe are having about how they miss chasing girls in college:
Fergie's Solo Career:
Couples on HGTV:
Why won't they trust the designer? Do they think this is Joanna & Chip's first Fixer Upper?
It's getting assault-y.
INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING, PLEASE
Look, music peaked in 2006 with Fergie's solo career and the song Promiscuous.
Your ex is a diarrhea milkshake. Do NOT get back together.
Rascal Flatt's "Life Is A HighWay":
One time I listened to this song on accident while I was masturbating and now it makes me horny.
Jokes About Kale:
Fucking stop. At least be more creative. Say arugula. Say anything else. This stopped being funny in 2008.